- My son: "can you help me build a lab, Dad?"
- Me: "a lab? For what?"
- My son: "I am going to turn people into creatures, except I am going to make them good guys. Do you think people will want to become creatures?"
- Me: "I don't think so."
- My son: "it's ok, they will be nice creatures so they will."

After seeing me complete the first Resident Evil game...
- My son: "Daddy! Where are we?"
- Me: "on the road going home, why?"
- My son: "I am dreaming, this is not real."
- Me: "but you are awake. You have been awake this whole time."
- My son: "no, we are both dreaming. We have to wake up."
- Me: "how do we do that?"
- My son: "we have to think of something super scary that will wake us."
- Me: "what should we think about?"
- My son: "penguins attacking the city!"

On the way home from the store...
My son’s Mother’s Day interview from school. My wife’s job sounds awesome.

My Son's Quotes
- My son: "I'm scared, Dad."
- Me: "why?"
- My son: "the mountains are so close."
- Me: "why are you scared of mountains?"
- My son: "don't freak out."
- Me: "I wont."
- My son: "polar bears and dragons."

While walking to school...
I wish I could have some of this cool girl stuff so I could be a cool girl or a fancy boy.
My son, while in a woman’s clothing store with his mom.

My Son's Quotes
- My son: "I wish the 80's were not real and we could get rid of them."
- Me: "why?"
- My son: "I wish we could just get rid of the 80's music. Like we could just delete it all."
- Me: "you can always just not listen to the music."
- My son: "no, it would be better just to get rid of it all."

After hearing Calvin Harris Acceptable in the 80's...
- My son: "Dad, I think we are going to find a grave yard. I can tell we are."
- Me: "why do you say that?"
- My son: "because I think we will find some zombies while we are out."
- Me: "how do you know?"
- My son: "the wind tells me."
- Me (laughing): "how does the wind tell you?"
- My son: "because it smells like old people."

While driving in the car...
- Me: "oh man, there's still bird poop on the car."
- My son: "that's okay Dad, nature is nature."

After coming out of a car wash...
- My son's mom: "and that's your uncle _______."
- My son: "he looks like someone who steals balls from kids."

While looking at family pictures with his mom...
- My son: "Dad, Grandma said if I lie my nose will grow. Is that true?"
- Me: "no, that's just in stories."
- My son: "if it was true Grandma would be a big liar 'cause she has a GIANT nose!"