My Son's Quotes

After seeing me complete the first Resident Evil game...

My son: "can you help me build a lab, Dad?"
Me: "a lab? For what?"
My son: "I am going to turn people into creatures, except I am going to make them good guys. Do you think people will want to become creatures?"
Me: "I don't think so."
My son: "it's ok, they will be nice creatures so they will."

On the way home from the store...

My son: "Daddy! Where are we?"
Me: "on the road going home, why?"
My son: "I am dreaming, this is not real."
Me: "but you are awake. You have been awake this whole time."
My son: "no, we are both dreaming. We have to wake up."
Me: "how do we do that?"
My son: "we have to think of something super scary that will wake us."
Me: "what should we think about?"
My son: "penguins attacking the city!"

My son’s Mother’s Day interview from school. My wife’s job sounds awesome.

My son’s Mother’s Day interview from school. My wife’s job sounds awesome.

While walking to school...

My son: "I'm scared, Dad."
Me: "why?"
My son: "the mountains are so close."
Me: "why are you scared of mountains?"
My son: "don't freak out."
Me: "I wont."
My son: "polar bears and dragons."

I wish I could have some of this cool girl stuff so I could be a cool girl or a fancy boy.

My son, while in a woman’s clothing store with his mom.

After hearing Calvin Harris Acceptable in the 80's...

My son: "I wish the 80's were not real and we could get rid of them."
Me: "why?"
My son: "I wish we could just get rid of the 80's music. Like we could just delete it all."
Me: "you can always just not listen to the music."
My son: "no, it would be better just to get rid of it all."

While driving in the car...

My son: "Dad, I think we are going to find a grave yard. I can tell we are."
Me: "why do you say that?"
My son: "because I think we will find some zombies while we are out."
Me: "how do you know?"
My son: "the wind tells me."
Me (laughing): "how does the wind tell you?"
My son: "because it smells like old people."

After coming out of a car wash...

Me: "oh man, there's still bird poop on the car."
My son: "that's okay Dad, nature is nature."

While looking at family pictures with his mom...

My son's mom: "and that's your uncle _______."
My son: "he looks like someone who steals balls from kids."

My son: "Dad, Grandma said if I lie my nose will grow. Is that true?"
Me: "no, that's just in stories."
My son: "if it was true Grandma would be a big liar 'cause she has a GIANT nose!"